Get out of food jail: The false ‘rule’ I always break
Nothing ‘wrong’ with me and I wasn’t broken.
My friend was really excited to show me her new food scale, “… and I can even take it with me to restaurants!” she said. I didn’t know what to say. I just kept picturing her on a date, pulling out the food scale when the entree is served. Turns out, the program she was on to lose weight was ALL about food rules. When, where, what and exactly how much to eat. I asked how that was going, and (no surprise) she said she was mostly able to do it, but it was often hard to stick to. And she was trying to use shear “willpower” to stay with it. Cue the red flags.
How many of us have felt like if we could just CONTROL all the the factors that affect our health, we would be “fixed” and life would be wonderful? Almost everyone I talk to about this has a list of diets, protocols, punishing workouts and other ways they’ve tried to lose weight, get in better shape, or just “cure” some bad habit.
That was me, too. Even as a child, I wondered why my classmates were slim and seemed so carefree about food. I thought if I could just be more like that, everything would be great. As an adult, that idea still haunted me, and no amount of precision, perfectionism, or ‘willpower’ seemed to make a difference. Eventually menopause came along. At that point, I was finally ready to stop treating my health like a DIY project and actively look for real information and help.
Guess what? I discovered there was nothing ‘wrong’ with me and I wasn’t broken. We are perfectly imperfect humans, not machines. I learned A LOT about food, and realized much the “healthy” or “diet” food I was eating was actually causing me to overeat, feel bloated and tired. Another surprise to me, It turns out that healthy weight is not all what we eat, but HOW we eat! And I learned that my health problems were also being driven by my daily habits and routines, which I didn’t even think about before. Cue the light bulb, “Ah-ha” moment!
So what’s the false rule I always break? Don’t aim for 100% on track all the time! Trying to be some form of ‘perfect’ is a recipe for failure, and just sucks the joy out of life. There’s really no gold star for suffering. A more balanced way is to try out 80/20. This means practice your healthy food & lifestyle choices most of the time (about 80%), and just notice how much progress you make. If you can give yourself a little grace on the other 20%, chances are you will feel less stressed, more positive and maybe even get better sleep. Small steps over time lead to lasting progress.
Life can be unpredictable and we are meant to be flexible, spontaneous, and adaptable. These qualities are what bring more joy to our lives and keep us resilient in the face of life’s inevitable changes.
